Families Under Pressure
‘Nobody knew how deep it screwed me’
Tupac Shakur1
The single greatest influence on our lives is that of our family and the ‘climate’ in which we grow up. Families who struggle with little money, housing problems and other social pressures find that the future for their children is less than certain.
The same problems we identify as a result of colonisation also ring true for other families at the bottom of the social scale. Ill health, unemployment, imprisonment, addictions, poverty, and a sense of worthlessness – all these put huge strains on family bonds… and many do not survive these pressures.
Aotearoa has the third highest number of one-parent families in the world. Roughly half of these parents are in the 20-34 year age group. The majority of these families tend to be poorer than their two-parent equivalent. This means that many young people are living with strain on a daily basis.
As most single parents are women, the absence of fathers is a common theme. Whether absent by choice or not (perhaps imprisoned or ‘restrained’ by a court or other such reasons), lack of positive male role models is a real concern – with it impacting on the healthy development of both young men and young women. How can young people learn to live in balanced, non-abusive relationships if they have never been shown how to do so?
Case Study: Tupac Shakur
I was raised in the city / shitty ever since I was an itty bitty kiddy / Drinkin’ liquor out of my mama’s titty. / And smokin’ weed was an everyday thing / In my household, / and drinkin’ liquor ‘till you’re out cold…
Tupac Shakur2
In the US, where ‘nearly 50% of the prison population is black… [its] influence is inescapable.’3 William Shaw, in his book about Hip Hop on the west coast of the US, noted that ‘fatherlessness is a theme that runs through so much modern Hip Hop… the absence of a father is a raw wound.’ He quotes Hip Hop legend Tupac Shakur as ‘someone who wore his fatherlessness in public. The inferiority he felt about growing up not knowing his father ran through many of his rhymes.’4
Nobody knew how deep it screwed me/ And since my pops never knew me/ My family didn’t know what to do with me/ Was I somebody they despise?/ Curious look in their eyes/ As if they wonder whether I’m dead or alive… (Tupac Shakur - The Streets R Deathrow)
White asked Tupac about when he first started looking for a father figure, and he replied ‘When I started seeing other people, and how they handled it, I was like ‘Damn! I got a cowardly deficit. Why am I acting that way? Why do I have to drink? Why can’t I sleep? Why do I grind my teeth when I sleep? Why is it so mandatory that I get respect?’ I know other people who are just as successful as me [and]… some people, hard just like me… somebody call them shit and they just smile. If you call me bitch… we’re going to fight. That’s mandatory. It was reinforced that they was a man. It wasn’t reinforced that I was a man…’5
In countries all over the world, the AIDS epidemic has created huge damage to families, with an estimated 15 million children orphaned through the loss of one, or both, parents. Around 80% of these AIDS orphans live in sub-Saharan Africa – however it is not the only region to be so devastated. At the end of 2001, there were an estimated 1.8 million orphans living in South and South-East Asia, 85,000 in East Asia and the Pacific, 330,000 in Latin America, 250,000 in the Caribbean, and 65,000 in North Africa and the Middle East.6
The trauma and social impacts on the next generations - without even taking the dreadful effects of war and revolution into account - are so enormous it’s hard to grasp, especially when such events show no signs of easing. The fact that some relief can be found by the voicing of such terrors through Hip Hop performances, seems convincing in its merits.
At least part of the global appeal of (US) Hip Hop stems from what Harvard Professor of Afro-American Studies Cornel West has called its ‘tragi-comic sensibility’ – its ability to engage in truth-telling about the suffering of millions of people, without abandoning the hope for a better future or the importance of having a good time. 7
Local artists have also addressed some of the seedier and sadder sides of family breakdown. ‘In the Deceptikonz track ‘Broken Home’ the lyrics tell the personal (and true) story of a son whose father has abandoned his family.’8
In the Scribe/P-Money track, 'Remember?' a case of childhood sexual abuse is told from the point of view of a woman who regards the event as a deep betrayal of trust.9
I was a kid and I was full of life, I didn’t know / Things like hate didn’t have a chance to grow / My parents didn’t know ‘cos there’s no way that I could tell / Them that their angel secretly lived in a private hell / Yo, I could smell the alcohol upon his breath / I prayed for death as he laid his hands upon my breasts…
Scribe/P-Money – ‘Remember’
Filling the Void
Just as gangs often provide the need for ‘family’ in a young person’s life, now Hip Hop also has the potential to fill that void. It’s about a sense of ‘belonging’ – in a group that doesn’t judge you about the way you look, who your parents are, where your parents are, or how well you did at school.
From (chart-topper) Scribe to someone that just turns up… all are equal parts. You don’t have to be an MC or B-boy, B-girl or DJ; all you have to do is turn up.10
Youth workers speak of the pride their young crews feel at their involvement in the Hip Hop elements – at the sense of ‘family’ it instils. For some, it’s the first time their parents have shown an interest in what they’re doing. That their parents are actively watching them succeed in a public way is a powerful incentive to achieve.
For others, the bad ‘rap’ of Hip Hop prevents parents from allowing their children to participate… an attitude that will need careful negotiation if it is to be turned around.
Music doesn’t make people gang members, or violent, or misogynistic. Society does.11
Test your knowledge
- What are some of the social pressures experienced by young people on the margins of society?
- What percentage of prisoners in the US are African-American?
- How did Tupac Shakur think the absence of his father affected him?
- How many children are estimated to have been orphaned through the global epidemic of AIDS?
- What is the subject of the Scribe/P-Money track Remember?
- How does Hip Hop help provide young people with a sense of ‘family’?
Expand your thinking
Think about someone you know who has lost a parent, whether through separation or death (it might be you). How do you think that loss has affected them/you? What are the signs that tell you this? How has this loss been dealt with? Do you think it was dealt with in a successful way? What kind of values and messages would you like to model for your own children (should you have some)?
1 ‘The Streets R Deathrow’ – Tupac Shakur.
2 Shakur, Tupac. 'The Streets R Death Row' on 'Strictly for My N.I.G.G.A.Z' 1993.
3 Kitwana B. ‘The Hip Hop Generation: Young Blacks and the Crisis in African-American Culture’.
4 Shaw, W. 2000 ‘Westsiders – Stories of the Boys in the Hood’, Bloomsbury p274.
5 Ibid, p275.
6 AIDS Orphans in Africa.
URL: http://www.avert.org/aidsorphans.htm .
7 Pollack, J. 6/09/2004 ‘Hip Hop in South Africa: Getting Political?’ URL: http://www.africana.com
8 Shute, G. ‘Hip Hop in Aotearoa as a Contemporary Art-form’– NZEPC essay.
9 Ibid.
10 DJ Sir-Vere from an interview with Tamati S. 2004 ‘A window to our world’ ‘The Next – An Impression of Hip Hop Expression’ p39.
11 Betts, R. 2000.‘Hip Hop Culture in New Zealand’ Unsubmitted MSocSCi Thesis, University of Waikato.
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